just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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