I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and she was petting her beer can
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
