There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
