Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My liver just had a heart attack.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need a beard to bite.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
