Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
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someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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