Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize