You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
