took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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