I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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