You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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