Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
