i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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