I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
