hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
