I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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