He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
