I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
