Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
