Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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