you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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