that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
