I wish i was in the wii world.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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