There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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