Im at strip club and am horny
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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