we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
