i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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