I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
