Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
