please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
