belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
