"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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