Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I cut my penus on the lid.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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