Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
