Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
