That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
