I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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