your parents love me but you hate me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
my penis made a compromise with my morals
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
