How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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