whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
