so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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