I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
