just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
