New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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