The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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