Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
