he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Who died my cat blue again?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
