I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need a beard to bite.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize