By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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