I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
