Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
