What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.