true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry I peed on your ottoman