i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I did not marry a roomba.
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