i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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