You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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