i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Who died my cat blue again?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
