my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
