Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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