I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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