Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we're so committed to being not committed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
