apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
