Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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